This Is How I Spend My Time
While I was gone
being lazy working harder than ever and tending to everything else but this blog, I had “surgery” in a not so nice area. In fact, I won’t say exactly where because I would like to at least maintain some modicum of dignity and not expose my life for all to see on this blog. In other words, I’ll leave where exactly I had my surgery up to your wonderful imaginations. Although this isn’t an attempt to field sympathy as I am already healed, I will certainly take any belated sympathy you have to offer. Cookies and balloons will always make me happy, even if their from freaks weird enough to send an anonymous blogger things usually reserved for those you actually, well, know.
I didn’t miss any work and didn’t take anytime off. And my girlfriend always berates me for using the word surgery as I had it done in a doctor’s office and drove myself home afterwards. However, surgery sounds cooler, tougher, and tends to elicit sympathy more than … outpatient procedure. But I think I should note that 25 years ago this probably would have been done in a hospital and required at least one overnight stay where I can enjoy the finest hospital-grade frozen turkey dinner served to me by an mean, obese nurse that sticks her tongue out at death everyday by working around the horrors of poor health while leading a lifestyle that can very well put her in the same rooms she walks into everyday. But I digress. This is an area where modern medicine actually improved things and allowed a once inpatient procedure to be performed on an outpatient basis. And I’m sure if I had the same thing done 150 years ago, the surgeon (re: the person in the town that owned the sharpest knife) would have probably killed me.
I don’t know where I was heading with this, so I’ll just stop typing.
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