I Can’t Find A Job

Overeducated, under experienced, and unemployed

Archive for April 2009

Starbucks Is A Dying Entity?

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starbucks22Some idiot wrote on MSN Money that the Starbucks fad is over because under Obama, we are a “nation of change” and that the days of “excess” are over. Included in this excess, according to the author, are $3 lattes and cappuccinos. First, if you define the days of “excess” as being over by the passage of a $3.4 trillion dollar, overinflated budget, you must have brain damage. Or perhaps the days of excess are over by importing $100 a pound Kobe (wagyu) beef from Japan for White House dinners. But I digress.

One of the things that consistently irks me is when ignorant, naïve people start foaming at the mouth over the exorbitant price of coffee at Starbucks. They often say go to the local McDonalds or Dunkin Donuts for a cheaper cup of coffee – so-called coffee for the average Joe. First, $3-4 cups of coffee are reserved for Starbucks specialty drinks – lattes, cappuccinos, and various sugar-coffee concoctions. Standard drip coffee runs from about $1.50 to $2.25 depending on size. I challenge you the price the same cup of coffee (with arguably less flavor) at Dunkin Donuts or McDonalds. When you do, you’ll realize that prices are exactly identical. Grab a cappuccino or latte at McDonalds or Dunkin Donuts and guess how much you’ll end up paying – $3 to $4!

So besides paying the same price as Starbucks at Dunkin Donuts or McDonalds, guess what you don’t get at the Golden Arches or elsewhere? Atmosphere. You can sit in a Starbucks, relax, take advantage of wi-fi, listen to music or catch up on a book. Grab a $3 latte at McDonalds and you’ll be subject to screaming kids throwing their chicken nuggets at one another while you sit amidst pictures of some red-haired clown that decorate the walls. I’m not defending Starbucks because I have some sort of fiduciary interest in doing so or because I love the company. Rather, it pisses me off when facts or truth get lost in a sea of misinformation or distorted public consciousness.

Oh, and I’ll have a no-whip, soy, 2 pumps of vanilla, latte please.

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Written by icantfindajob

April 30, 2009 at 7:31 am

Posted in Opinion

We’re All Screwed

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swineThe good news is that I no longer have to look for a job! The bad news is that I didn’t find a job but stopped due to the abrupt introduction of swine flu in the American germ sphere. I remember years ago when the news touted avian or swine (pig) influenza as the next health pandemic and apparently, it is here.

MSNBC reports that the swine flu has sickened over 1,000 in Mexico and killed 68. California, Kansas, Texas, and New York City have all reported cases of apparent swine virus.

I don’t like this one bit. If you see some freak wearing an oxygen tank, a hazmat suit, and medical-grade rubber gloves, feel free to say hello. It’s probably me. Just keep your distance!

Written by icantfindajob

April 25, 2009 at 6:01 pm

Posted in Hell, News

Happy Earth Day

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earthdayToday is Earth Day so plant a tree or litter half as much as you normally would.

Written by icantfindajob

April 22, 2009 at 8:13 am

Posted in Random

Post-Career Opportunity For All

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tokudaFor those that have retired from illustrious careers and now have to decide what to do with their rest of their lives, consider the story of Shigeo Tokuda. After graduating from an elite college in Japan and working as a travel agent, he decided at the age of 59 to pursue a rather unusual career. Feeling he could make better adult movies than he was seeing, he decided at 59-years-old (young?) that he’d become an adult film star. On the set of his latest movie where he was posed to have sex with a woman younger than his daughter, Tokuda claimed he “acted” with women in their 20s to old-farts like himself.

Rising to the top of Japanese elder-porn (!?), Tokuda claims that his wife and daughter are not aware of his secret career.

Insisting that his job keeps him alive, he wishes to keep going until at least 80 years old.

No comment.

Written by icantfindajob

April 17, 2009 at 10:48 am

Posted in Random

Madonna Has Too Much Money

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madonnaPeople are losing their jobs. Families are concerned about health insurance. Tons of people cannot find work (*cough* like me). Madonna buys a $40 million dollar house and is having it completely renovated before she moves in.

WAIT…what?

You read that right. According to Curbed.com, Madonna recently purchased a $40 million dollar townhouse in New York City located at 152 East 81st Street. The sale price marks a neighborhood record as no residence east of Lexington Avenue has ever sold for over $20 million dollars. Madonna’s house more than doubles the old record sale price of a residence east of Lexington in New York City.

Snobs in the area, however, do grip that homes near Madonna’s complain about subway noise as the notoriously noisy trains run underneath homes in the area. Boo-hoo!

Besides “subway noise,” the home boasts a design “reminiscent of a London townhouse.” The townhouse features 26 rooms, a 3,000 square foot garden, and a double-car garage, not a common amenity in nearby homes. The home also features a library, a dining room, a library, 13 bedrooms, 9 fireplaces, a Georgian staircase, an elevator, and a rooftop garden.

[Image is the actual townhouse Madonna purchased and is courtesy of Curbed.com.]

Written by icantfindajob

April 17, 2009 at 8:12 am

Posted in Random

Vince from Sham-Wow & Lady Friend Had A Great Night

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shamwowmugshotYou may remember my post regarding Vince from that annoying Sham-Wow commercial punching a prostitute in the face after she bit his tongue and didn’t let go. Well, photos from the bizarre, trashtastic incident have surfaced. The Smoking Gun has photos of Vince and the prostitute after the incident and I can’t stop laughing.

Check them out here.

[Mugshot picture courtesy of The Smoking Gun.]

Written by icantfindajob

April 14, 2009 at 5:09 pm

Posted in Random

Nicolas Cage Unloading His Homes

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housesaleShowing that the recession doesn’t pick its victims, Nicolas Cage is reportedly unloading properties left and right, according to Luxist.com.

First, the famed actor unloaded his 500-year-old Barvarian Castle in Germany for a cool $2,3 million. Now, Cage is looking to unload homes in California, Nevada, the Bahamas, Rhode Island, and Louisiana.

According to Luxist.com, Cage’s Louisiana home has six bedrooms and grounds that feature a heated pool and statuary. Architectural details inside the house include marble fireplaces, plasterwork, stained glass, and a curved staircase.

Cage bougth the home in 2005 for $3.45 million and listed it on the market for $3.7 million.

Written by icantfindajob

April 13, 2009 at 6:43 am

Posted in Bad Business