I Can’t Find A Job

Overeducated, under experienced, and unemployed

Vince from Sham-Wow Punches Prostitute in the Face

with 2 comments

vincefromshamwowYou’re watching TV and all of a sudden, a commercial aires featuring a slimy but convincing salesman known as Vince. Vince is most known for trying to sell you “super-absorbent” towels called “Sham-Wow(s)” that can do ANYTHING! They can fight fires, protect the environment, clean up soda spills, wash dogs, and make you more appealing to the opposite sex. Vince is also less known for selling the Slam Chop, a cutting tool that dices almost any food item you want.

Well, according to the Chicago Sun Times, Vince Schlomi was recently arrested. Vince was arrested last month and charged with felony battery for punching a prostitute. Vince brought the prostitute back to his hotel in Miami under the agreement that she would provide “straight sex” and he would give her $1,000. Vince kissed the prostitute and she allegedly bit his tongue and refused to let go. He then punched the prostitute in the face multiple times until she let go and ran to the hotel lobby to call police. The prostitute, Lenea Harris, suffered multiple cuts and fractures to her face.

I wonder if Sham-Wows provide legal help too?


Written by icantfindajob

March 28, 2009 at 5:19 pm

Posted in Random

2 Responses

Subscribe to comments with RSS.

  1. ShamWows don’t provide legal help, but they’re darn good at cleaning up any incriminating liquids.

    Liquid Egg Product

    March 31, 2009 at 11:51 am

  2. HAHA!

    “Your honor, I’d like to introduce into evidence item number 13 – a ShamWow containing the blood of the victim, Ms. Harris.”


    March 31, 2009 at 2:02 pm

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: