I Can’t Find A Job

You’re watching TV and all of a sudden, a commercial aires featuring a slimy but convincing salesman known as Vince. Vince is most known for trying to sell you “super-absorbent” towels called “Sham-Wow(s)” that can do ANYTHING! They can fight fires, protect the environment, clean up soda spills, wash dogs, and make you more appealing to the opposite sex. Vince is also less known for selling the Slam Chop, a cutting tool that dices almost any food item you want.

Well, according to the Chicago Sun Times, Vince Schlomi was recently arrested. Vince was arrested last month and charged with felony battery for punching a prostitute. Vince brought the prostitute back to his hotel in Miami under the agreement that she would provide “straight sex” and he would give her $1,000. Vince kissed the prostitute and she allegedly bit his tongue and refused to let go. He then punched the prostitute in the face multiple times until she let go and ran to the hotel lobby to call police. The prostitute, Lenea Harris, suffered multiple cuts and fractures to her face.

I wonder if Sham-Wows provide legal help too?